A War the World Awaits: Trump vs. Rocket Man

By Darrell Roberts

President Donald Trump was quick to seize upon his opportunity to speak at the U.N. General Assembly to wage a verbal attack at Kim Jong Un.  Trump quickly declared, as he sees fit, that “we will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea. Rocket Man is on a suicide mission for himself and for his regime.”  Tough talk, from a self-professed tough man.   

A recent Gallup Poll shows that Americans are with the President (overall 58 percent support military action, with Republicans leading the way at 82 percent) against North Korea.  The poll also indicates that Trump’s rhetoric may be responsible for such a high percentage of Republicans being eager to engage in a battle.  After all, they heard the President’s promise to unleash “fire and fury” upon the Un regime.

However, the Gallup poll also states, “A majority of Americans appear ready to support military action against that country, at least as a last resort.”  President Trump’s bombastic eloquence continues to undermine diplomatic efforts by Nikki Haley and General Mad Dog Mattis.  Is it ironic that a guy nicknamed Mad dog is more reasonable than the POTUS?

Actually, no, it is not ironic, Mad Dog knows brutality and would likely only favor war as a last (and not a first) resort.   However, President Trump knows more than the Generals. Sure, he may be a successful Vietnam draft dodger, but that was then.  Now, things are different. Many Trump supporters offer assurance that the President Trump’s raw talk is legitimate.

The President does not speak loosely on a war just because he will not be in the fight!  Not our POTUS, he will gladly fight for his country.  Nobody loves America more than President Trump, believe me.  The President would do anything for his country (except release his taxes, acknowledge Russian meddling, and refrain from insulting America to defend Vladimir Putin).

If only there were a way to avoid a war in which thousands, if not millions might die.   What about the unintended consequences?  Such as creating a refugee crisis or maybe even an economic, a proxy, or an all-out war between the U.S. and China.  If only there were a solution that involves tough-talk, no diplomacy, and minimal bloodshed.  Certainly, President Trump would pursue such a solution.  Perhaps, there is?

But first, let’s enjoy a short break from such a bleak mass annihilation discussion.

Unexpected Birth of Brilliance 

Did you see the fight?  That’s a trick question.  Within the past three weeks, there were two popular boxing events.   The first, a farcical match-up between the undefeated boxing aficionado, Floyd “Money” Mayweather, Jr. facing an MMA fighter turned debuting boxer, Conor McGregor.  The second bout, a ‘can’t-miss’ affair between Gennady Gennadyevich Golovkin (AKA GGG or Triple-G) against Saul ‘Canelo’ Alvarez–two of the best fighters in the world fighting to determine the real champion.

Boxing purists scoffed at the Mayweather-McGregor match.  They point to the farcical nature of a “fight” pitting an all-time legend against a guy with zero experience.  Vegas, Pay-Per-View, and the “profits” that be–said, “So, what does it matter?  It will make money, lots and lots of money.”   

Despite a disparity in experience, skill, and talent–the Mayweather-McGregor bout grew into a huge “event.”  As the dollars are added up, the fight might set a new all-time Pay-Per-View sales record (despite the hundred dollar price tag).  Why?

For a few simple reasons.  One, both fighters are popular.  Secondly, the pair’s ramped up derogatory insults during their multi-city promotional tour would create a “must-see” buzz.

As for the fight?  The guy (Mayweather) that should win–did win.   However, Mr. McGregor also won.  A report from the Nevada State Athletic Commission confirms “that the minimum each fighter will earn is $100million for Floyd Mayweather and $30million for Conor McGregor.”

It was the perfect ending to the boxing career of both Mayweather and McGregor.  Even in defeat, McGregor still wins as he will collect at least $30 million for his boxing debut.  In the end, all were happy (to include boxing purists) because the event made a lot of money, surpassed expectations, and did not permanently damage the reputation of boxing (as if that is even possible).   So, what about the ‘real’ fight?

Unlike the aforementioned “event,” the lead-up to the GGG-Canelo bout did not focus on hyperbolic and inflammatory slights.  No, both men maintained their professionalism, dignity, and were respectful toward one another.  For the real boxing fans, this fight did not require antics.  Fans were guaranteed that both men would show up, engage in a highly-skilled and a hard-fought battle.

The fight between the man from Kazakhstan (GGG) and the Mexican ginger they call Canelo (that’s Spanish for Cinnamon) delivered as fans expected.  After 12 rounds of furious action, the winner was now in the hands of three judges.  Who would win?

Everbody!

Actually, there was one BIGLY loser–judge Adelaide Byrd’s 118-110 score for Canelo.  That score is less popular than Trump caught on a live-mic with Billy Bush.

The fans were the biggest winner as they witnessed an instant classic.  A classic so nice, it demands to be done twice.  The official result may be a draw, but both fighters also won. Regardless of any judge’s decision, both men walked away showing they are among the world’s elite.  Best of all–the fighters will rightfully earn more money for the rematch. For their first fight, Canelo has a $20 million purse guarantee, and GGG will reap a $15 million minimum.

Wait, what?  If added together, both fighters will earn only $5 million more than McGregor’s debut check.  There is a valuable lesson hidden in these numbers.  But what is that lesson?

An Atypical Genius Solution

As in life, boxing shows that talking a good game is often more important than having a good game.  This is evident by Conor McGregor being able to talk himself into making nearly as much in his debut as two of the best fighters in the world–combined.  Now, ask yourself, who is better at talking a good game than President Trump?  Nobody is better, he is the best, believe me.  In fact, this premise may hold the key to solving the current tension (and the possibility of war) between North Korea and the U.S.

The Bigly War–Greatest War Of All Time

Imagine bloodshed diplomacy through a boxing match in “Sin City” between President Donald Trump and Supreme Leader Kim Jung Un? Think of the excitement that a multi-city promotional tour would bring?   What about the potential fireworks that the first public face-to-face meeting between President Trump and the Supreme Leader might bring?

Would President Trump unleash the fury that would make that Irish lad, McGregor–green with envy?  Would the spectacle of the first face-to–err, face-to-chest encounter result in Trump stooping to call his opponent “Lil” Kim?  Such a scene would create a frenzied public glad to pay 100…NO.  Make it $200 to watch this fight on Pay-Per-View.

The Trump/Un fight would have the largest attendance in boxing history.  And the ratings?  Well, the event would receive the biggest ratings EVER!  The whole world (except for North Korea) would tune in to witness the shellacking.

However, President Trump is the money maker (known as the ‘A’ side), so Lil Kim must concede to a few Trump demands.

NOTE: Speaking of green, President Trump’s verbal barrage would create good paying jobs and boost the American economy.

Trump’s demands include:

  1. For every 1 boxing regulation that is allowed to stand 2 must be cut.  For instance, the heavy burden of 3-minute rounds is a job killer–so, the rounds will be 45 seconds or less.
  2. Michael Buffer will not be paid to say his catchphrase–would cost too much money.  Instead, Trump 2020 campaign funds will hire and pay an angelic voice replacement.  That’s right, Jared Kushner will deliver the opening, “Let’s get ready to Trumple!” (NOTE to self–trademark that saying)
  3. There is to only be one scantily clad ring card girl!  Of course, it will be Ivanka.
  4. Donald Jr. and Eric Trump will be Easy D’s judge choices while Melania will be “Lil” Kim’s appointee.

(Prediction: Melania scores the fight 118-110 in favor of Lil Kim)

Ladies and gentlemen, we now have a solution to the North Korea dilemma.  This bold proposal will entertain, save lives, and boost the American economy.   It sounds perfect, right?   But will President Trump jump at his golden opportunity to defend America?  Is he eager to back up his tough words with even stronger actions?  Or is the President only willing to talk a big fight–when he is not the doing the fighting?

“It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, more vengeance, more desolation. War is hell.” — General William T. Sherman

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