Alabama Has No Good Options In The Race To Replace Jeff Sessions

By John Thorsson

I could really do without the state of Alabama right now….or the majority of what the Republican Party has become for that matter. I mean, at least Alabama has the Crimson Tide to root for. What does the Republican Party have? Donald Trump? Rand Paul? Dare I say Kid Rock? (who’s going to run in Michigan). Either of the two men shown in the picture above? The Republican Party is facing some dark days friends. So, who are the two men looking to take over Jeff Sessions old Senate seat after he took the Attorney General position in the Trump administration? Well, the runoff election for the Republican candidate is next Tuesday. So let’s meet these two gems that the party dug up.

In one corner we have state senator Luther Strange (right pictured above). He has wrapped himself in Trump’s glory in Alabama, as somehow he became and has remained incredibly popular in the state. Mr. Strange is showing nonstop ads with the president endorsing him, and there’s a report that the president will campaign with him this weekend. Mr. Strange has already assured the good people of Alabama that he’ll be a rubber stamp for the president’s agenda. Ya know, assuming he ever gets around to having one. A big problem arises that, much like the president himself, Luther shows the complete inability to articulate any kind of policy proposals. The last thing we need in Washington is someone who has no clue what they’re doing there. Right now, he’s campaigning on a lot of the same catchphrases that Trump himself campaigned on. I need to stop, I’m going to depress myself if I think about a second Trump in the government.

In the other corner is Former Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, Roy Moore (pictured left above). He is being propped up by none other than Steve Bannon (okay, I’m officially depressed now). You might have heard of good ole Roy these past few weeks, as he’s been in the news quite a bit recently. But it’s been for all the wrong reasons. See, Mr. Moore can’t stop talking, and when he opens up his mouth; something stupid tends to come out of it. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present exhibit 1. Back in February, Mr. Moore was at a church doing a rally when he opened up the Bible to the Old Testament book of Isaiah, and there; he claimed, that the Bible prophesied that 9/11 would happen. Now, I gotta tell you guys; I’ve heard the theories about Nostradamus predicting 9/11 happening. But never before have I heard someone suggest that the Bible predicated it. But wait, there’s more! The Former Chief Justice of Alabama also claimed that 9/11 took place because God was angry at the United States because “We legitimize sodomy” and “we legitimize abortion.” I guess it’s too much to just take it at face value, that Islamic extremists, who believe in the “Theology of Success,” wanted to do their part to destroy the West.

Exhibit 2: this past Sunday he was at a rally where he said the following: “We were torn apart in the Civil War-brother against brother, North against South, party against party. What’s changed? Now we have blacks ands whites fighting, reds and yellows fightingDemocrats and Republicans fighting, men and women fighting. What’s going to unite us?” (Emphasis mine). Seriously Roy? At a time when Republicans need to fight off the term racist as much as ever, and when so many Americans think the president, and the Republican Party by extension of him is racist, you’re going to use a slur for Asians and Indians? I feel like I’m on one of those infomercials right now, because wait; there’s more! He too is loathe to discuss any kind of policy in depth. He won’t touch DACA, won’t give his opinion on healthcare. And he too has said that he’ll be a rubber stamp for the president if he makes it to the Senate.

I don’t know who to pull for on this race. They both seem like fools, with Mr. Moore being on the border of reprehensible. Oh, and according the polling in Alabama, he’s the one that’s currently leading. In the end, it doesn’t matter which one of them wins; because the real winner will be President Trump. Either way, he’ll have a reliable foot soldier on the senate floor to carry out his business. The real loser is the ever shrinking common sense part of the Republican Party. America, there really are some of us that are out here, I swear! I hate that the party that brought America Lincoln and Reagan, and was the party of big ideas now has to pick between a candidate backed by Donald Trump or one backed by Steve Bannon.

The people of Alabama have a big decision to make next Tuesday, but I don’t envy them in their task. Say what you want about Mr. Sessions policies, at least he was qualified and had thought through things enough to take actual positions on issues. These two men who are vying for his job haven’t, and neither of them deserve the job to be quite frank. There just isn’t a good choice to make here.

Did I mention I was depressed thinking about it? God, 2020 can’t come soon enough, what with Representative Kid Rock of Michigan, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as president, and..oh wait.

Damnit, this just keeps getting worse.

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