Trump’s “On-The-Job” Training Report

By Susan Kuebler

By now we are all familiar with the saga of Donald Trump’s riches-to-riches life story.  After growing up in Brooklyn, he was sent to military school after punching one of his teachers in the face.  While there, he managed to not only avoid the draft into the Vietnam war, but also received the highly coveted medal for Neatness.

He began his business career, like most people, with a small $1,000,000 loan from his father.  He was so successful that he managed to bankrupt not only a casino, but several other businesses as well.  His string of endless triumphs ranged from Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, and his crowning achievement – Trump University.  His business acumen was so vast that he had to go overseas for funding as no American banker would lend him any more money.

In fact, had Trump invested that original $1,000,000 from his daddy in the stock market, he would be far more wealthy than he claims to be today.  Of course, we don’t know the exact extent of his vast fortune as he has refused to release his tax returns for the last dozen years or so.

At the age of 69, Trump decided to slow down and take it easy.  So he thought he would try to become the President of the United States.  How hard could it be?  Some black dude had done it for eight years.  And it would be the crowning star for an ego that knew no bounds.  Just think of all the people he could get even with if he were President.  Plus, those snobs in Manhattan who didn’t invite him to their exclusive parties would feel really bad.

Trump was right in his element on the campaign trail.  He gloried in his adoring supporters at his rallies.  His incessant calls to Fox and Friends, and other cable news outlets, paid off brilliantly, resulting in millions of dollars of free advertising.  He promised everything to everyone – he had a secret plan to defeat ISIS in 30 days because he knew more about them than the generals.  His foreign policy came from what he saw on television and his own great brain.

Granted, he had to fire his first two campaign managers, ending up with Steve Bannon, Breitbart’s dark genius.  But he had plenty of experience saying “You’re fired!” from his NBC reality TV show “The Apprentice.”  In real life, however, it turned out that Trump didn’t have the gumption to actually fire anyone himself.  He always delegated that task to someone else.

Then, against all expectations, including his own if reports are to be believed, he actually won the election.  Not the popular vote though, where Clinton beat him by over 3 million votes.  But then, he said that was because 3 million, no make that 5 million, people had voted illegally.  He was going to investigate that.  We are still waiting.  Just like we are still waiting for the press conference where his third wife Melania was going to explain how she inadvertently managed to plagiarize Michelle Obama’s speech.

During the transition, when Trump, accompanied by his coterie of political neophytes, were given a tour of the White House by President Obama, they were amazed, AMAZED, to discover they had to provide the entire staff for the West Wing.   It wasn’t just the Chief of Staff he needed to hire – they had to go out and hire secretaries as well.  Who knew?

But when Trump became POTUS on January 20, 2017 it all looked rosy.  Except for that dark, dystopian inaugural address he gave.  Former President George W. Bush reportedly commented on it by saying “That was some weird shit.”  Forget his promises to Repeal and Replace Obamacare on Day 1 in office.  Never mind he said one of his first actions would to label China a currency manipulator.  There were far more pressing issues he had to deal with.  Like the pictures posted by The National Park Service showing the crowd at his inauguration was much smaller than the 2009 crowd for Obama.

But he quickly got down to work, to doing the real business of a president.  He paid a visit to the CIA where he managed to insult a number of the agents there and then travelled to his Florida resort for a nice weekend of golf.  This from the guy who said he would be too busy working as president to have time to play ANY golf.   He also tweeted.  And tweeted.  And tweeted.

Despite having a majority in both houses of Congress, Trump decided to govern by Executive Order.  First, in an order that he admitted he didn’t read, he appointed his political strategist Steve Bannon to the National Security Council.  He kicked out the Joint Chiefs of Staff to make room for him.  Then there was his first EO restricting immigration from seven predominantly Muslim countries into the United States.

Then, as part of his on-the-job training, he learned there was a third branch of the government, the judiciary, which could curb the power he wielded as president.  HOW DARE THEY!  He railed against “so-called judges” and told those upstarts he ‘WOULD SEE THEM IN COURT!”   But instead, he decided to issue a second executive order on immigration, which was also immediately stayed by a judge in the 9th Federal Circuit.

Trump’s response to that was to declare, ominously, that he would break up the 9th District Court of Appeals, which has had no part in this decision, yet.  The justices, along with constitutional scholars, and probably some members of Congress, no doubt laughed themselves silly over this pronouncement.  Trump’s on-the-job training apparently did not include that part of the U.S. Constitution that says only Congress has the power to organize the federal courts.  Trump, by himself, can’t do a damn thing.

The next part of his OJT came when trying to get his healthcare reform bill passed by the House of Representatives.  He was a Republican president.  Republicans control the House. He wanted the bill passed.  But what had always worked for him from his office in Trump Towers did not translate well into dealing with a group of congressmen who answered, not to him, but to the constituents who elected them.  Even when he threatened to “primary” certain members of the Freedom Caucus, they calmly stared him down.  Finally, Speaker Ryan had to explain the hard facts of political to him.  There were not enough votes to pass the bill and he was not going to bring it to the floor for a vote.  Trump’s comment “Who knew healthcare reform would be so hard?”

During the campaign, Hillary Clinton pointed out that the Presidency is “not an entry-level job.”   In the past, first-time presidents have had the wisdom to bring in seasoned political veterans into their administration.  They listened to and heeded their advice.  Trump brought  in his daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared Kushner.

At present, there are no Assistant Secretaries in the Department of Defense.  There are no United States ambassadors, except for the United Nations, anywhere in the world.  There are no U.S. Attorneys currently serving.  Trump has essentially abdicated his role as Commander-in-Chief.

There were two damning stories published yesterday about the floundering of Trump’s administration.  His on-the-job training is not going well.  In an article by Politico, they quote one White House official saying “I kind of pooh-poohed the experience stuff when I first go here.  But this shit is hard.”

No shit Sherlock

Then, in an interview with the British news service Reuters, Trump is quoted as saying

“I loved my previous life. I had so many things going.  This is more work than in my previous life.  I thought it would be much easier.”

Mr. Trump, there is an obvious solution to this dilemma.  One where you can still watch TV 6 hours a day and play golf every weekend.

Retire.  Quit.  Get the hell out.





  1. This dude is going to go down as the worst President in our countries history that most likely won’t make it through his first term. The Trumpkins won’t have their golden boy to follow anymore and go back to not voting in silent protest.

  2. I wanna go read up on Harrison’s 30 days. I know he was sick thanks to catching pneumonia and dying a month in, but I wonder if he was able to get anything done even from his deathbed…and if so, does it compare to what Dump’s been able to do for the nation somehow?

    Would be neat to see.

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