You’re A Mean One, Mr. Gingrinch

By Linda Stockton 

Sometimes, what you want to say as a writer, has already been written to perfection. One may have to change a name here and there, but otherwise, the words are exactly fitting for the sentiments needing to be expressed. So, in the spirit of the holidays, Merry Christmas!

“You’re a mean one, Mr. Gingrinch
You really are a heel,
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
you’re as charming as an eel,
Mr. Gingrinch.
You’re a bad banana
with a greasy black peel!

You’re a monster, Mr. Gingrinch.
Your heart’s an empty
Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your
soul, Mr. Gingrinch.
I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-
and-a-half foot pole.
You’re a foul one, Mr. Gingrinch
You have termites in your
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick
crocodile, Mr. Gingrinch.

Given a choice between the two of
you I’d take the seasick crocodile!
You’re a foul one, Mr. Gingrich.
You’re a nasty wasty
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is
full of gunk, Mr. Gingrinch.

The three words that best describe
you are as follows, and I quote,”Stink, stank, stunk”
You’re a rotter, Mr. Gingrinch.
You’re the king of sinful
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy
purple spots, Mr. Gingrinch”

Adapted from lyrics by – Theodore “Dr. Suess” Geisel



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