Dispatches From The Swamp – Day 20

By Susan Kuebler

Maintaining low profile.  Still unrecognized by enemy forces.  Cat disguise is working well.

Reports from enemy camp show there is still confusion over who will serve as Secretary of State.  Not certain if this is deliberate attempt to confuse the public or if it means no one knows what is going on.  Rumors rampant that Guiliani will be meeting with The Leader tonight to discuss the position.  Long-time Swamp resident Gingrich has voiced disapproval  with prospect of Mitt Romney in a prestigious post.  Will update when further contradictory information provided by various spokespeople.

The Leader still focusing on reports of fraudulent voting in the election he won.  Today he enlisted the services of 16-year-old collaborator to support claims of massive voter fraud which would prove he got more votes than his opponent, affectionately referred to as Crooked Hillary.  This will, no doubt, satisfy his supporters.

The campaign against renegade news organization CNN initiated yesterday in a series of five consecutive announcements in one hour by The Leader on Twitter continued into the early hours this morning.  He referred to one of their reporters as “just another generic CNN part time wannabe journalist!” @CNN still doesn’t get it.  They will never learn.”  Unsure of the purpose of these messages.  Apparently, The Leader continues to watch the program.  Perhaps a crafty ploy on his part to increase their ratings.

Reports are circulating that The Leader plans to strip citizenship rights from people failing to worship American flag.  He must move quickly on this before Congress and Supreme Court get wind of his nefarious plans.

Swamp draining efforts by The Leader were once again stalled by his announcement of former Secretary of Labor under Bush administration and wife of current Majority Leader in the Senate as new Secretary of Transportation.   Rumblings from his core supporters seem distant.

An unconfirmed sighting of former campaign manager Paul Manafort at Trump Tower. Stories of his defection to Russia may be false. Will provide updates as soon as confirmation is available.  Intel also received that former Vice-President Dan Quayle, disguised as former Vice-President Dan Quayle, entered unrecognized by security at Trump Tower.

The announcement that The Leader’s highly anticipated victory rally tour to begin on Thursday.  Nuremberg was booked so rally will be held in Cincinnati instead.  Reports of massive celebrations in states that did not support The Leader may be exaggerated.

Loyal members of #The Resistance providing safe houses as needed.  Must relocate almost daily to avoid capture and possible waterboarding.  Will report to you again when a secure signal is available.  Have been using servers set up in bathrooms.

Remain vigilant my friends.  America depends on us.

The Crafty Cat   Vive le Resistance

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