If You’re Inventing a Time Machine…

By Bobby M.

Right before I fully woke up this morning, (after barely being able to sleep) I had a sense that Election day 2016 was just part of my nightmare. Incidentally, said nightmare involved living in a world like “The Walking Dead”, minus the zombies but with more scavenging to survive. Really missing that almost-woke-up-feeling I just spoke of above that yesterday did not happen. Anyway, so if anyone reading this is inventing a time machine, I have a few ideas for you on what to change in history. Please do not mind any possible space-time continuum conundrums or butterfly effects that may potentially pop up as none of them can be worse than what we have now.

Your number one target date involves some day before Hillary Clinton became Secretary of State so as you could tell her to just deal with a state.gov email address and whatever devices the department preferred her to use. Can you imagine how much different our world would be now if she just did that and the BS scandal the media focused on never happened?

If that did not work, then go back to the time right before Clinton picked her vice presidential running mate. I knew it was a mistake at the time not to select Bernie Sanders as her partner, but I hoped for the best at the time because all I cared about was Trump losing. So whoever was giving her advice to not pick him, kick that guy in the shins and hammer into their campaign how important it is to reach out to the #BernieBros as much as possible.

Still striking out on trying to change the past? Then try another conversation with the campaign managers and be a little more forceful this time. Make them drop that “When they go low, we go high” mentality. Political commercials should have been saturated with talks of all the lawsuits Donald Trump is caught up in; especially the Trump University case happening in the very same month of the election. Another ad we should have seen alot was tying him to the KKK and the alt-right’s racism so closely, the concept was burned into people’s brains. Other good ideas could revolve around his slush fund use of the Trump Foundation/straight up lies regarding charity and what is hidden in those tax returns.

The last resort you may need to take may involve some shady, clandestine-ish actions. Like catching FBI Director James Comey in a dark alley and literally telling him you’ll slice off his balls if he thinks about interfering in the election. Major kudos to you if you can do the exact same thing to Jason Chaffetz who was the one that manipulated Comey to break the Hatch Act. Finally, find Katie Johnson, the young woman with the rape case against Trump, and tell her the importance of not dropping her case.

Yes, I know that the odds of someone going back in time to do any of those things are very remote. This article is more about my attempt to deal with my grief regarding everything for a sense of self-therapy. Guess I’ll try and hold onto the hope that the real nightmare was that we all let our fears get ahead of us about how bad a Trump presidency would be. Wish me luck in that endeavor. Wish us all luck that he is not really as bad as we all thought.


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