The Trick or Treat Election

By, Susan Kuebler

Growing up in a small, as in no stop signs or traffic lights small, town in Georgia, trick or treating on Halloween was quite an exciting time in our young lives. Granted, there were only about three or four streets we could visit, but we always had our plan sized up well in advance.

First, you went to Mrs. Floyd’s house as soon as possible, because she gave out the homemade popcorn balls, and those went quickly. Then you worked your way around the block and made your haul. The “rich” family in town lived at the end of the last street we visited. Each year we dreamed they would produce exotic concoctions or massive bags of goodies for us. They were the rich people, the ones with the newest model car and the fanciest house. Each year we knocked on their door in hopeful anticipation. And each year they handed out the same Halloween gift. A pencil. Yes, a freaking pencil. And only one pencil per kid. Why we kept returning to their house year after year expecting something different, something better, can only be explained by the eternal optimism of youth. But all we ever got, year after endless year, was the damned pencil.

A lot of voters have placed their faith, their hopes, and their trust in the rich guy in the election. He has promised to make America great again. He has the “best” plans, the “best” words, and knows more than all the generals in the Army. These voters are expecting wonderful treats after the election. He is going to deport all the illegal immigrants and build a wall. He is going to “fix” everything that is wrong with the system and “drain the swamp in Washington.” He is going to bring back jobs, except perhaps for the ones he’s exported to China, Bangladesh, and Mexico. Healthcare, ISIS, NATO, the economy, and the obnoxious neighbor whose dog barks all night – he will fix everything.

He doesn’t say how he plans on accomplishing these miracles, but only he can do it. Pay no attention to those bankruptcies, failed businesses, tax dodges, and people he destroyed along his way. He is on YOUR side. Years ago, Georgia had a governor elected called Eugene Talmadge. He was elected four times. When accused of stealing he admitted it. “Sure,” he said “I stole. But I stole for YOU.”

So don’t worry if your candidate lies. It’s just fine if he tells you our country is a hellhole and his opponent is going to let in 650,000,000 people as soon as she is elected. It’s no big deal if he encourages people to vote more than once (and several people have already tried to do that) because the election is rigged unless he wins.

And isn’t it just great that the FBI has thrown him a gift by saying that someone other than his opponent may have emails that may or may not have information in them that may or may not be important? She’s just so corrupt, and this proves it. It doesn’t matter the least little bit that he has upcoming trials (actual trials) for fraud, raping a 13-year-old girl, and RICO charges coming up after the election. Why should that bother you?

You just keep thinking about that wonderful bag of goodies you are going to get when he becomes president. But please, don’t come whining if all you get is a damned pencil.

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